Last
by jankisu02
Summary: This will be the last." Kiku's POV


Warning: not beta-edited. appearance of Black!Kiku, implications

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"You should stay away from me."

Arthur stared at me in shock "What?"

"I am…not good for you." I said trying to sound convincing. But unsurprisingly I failed.

A tall figure now seated upright beside me, apparently he was infuriated with my meaningless yet true statement. His thick eyebrows almost connected in anger. His facial expression was painted with resentment and…pain.

"What the bloody hell are you saying all of a sudden?!" his husky yet alluring voice now exclaimed in irritation.

"I just thought," I finally looked up at the blond haired man, "_'This'_ has gotten too far."

"What do you mean about _'this'_?!" His first hit the small table. As always he was an impatient man. The cups made noises but neither of us paid any attention to it. Our eyes stared intently at each other. I could read anger, hurt and confusion in his usually sweet eyes.

"This" I tore my brown eyes away, he must've seen something, but what? "This, me and you-" a pause was made as I thought of a better word to use, "socializing."

"And what's so wrong about that?!" his voice was pitching louder with every answer I made. I felt my dark hair stand slightly.

"I told you I am not good for you."

"You are."

"Why are you so stubborn?" I spoke irritably. I know he was impatient but my patience wasn't endless either.

"You don't know what you're saying." He was glaring with my remark.

"I am more informed of myself than you may ever be Arthur-san." He heard the double meaning of my remark.

His fingers got knotted with his messy golden hair as he scratched in aggravation. "We had this talk before but…"

"But I never forbid you from seeing me." I finished his sentence.

His beautiful face fell. He narrowed his emerald eyes to the half full cup of tea I had served him earlier.

Silence filled the room. We stayed seated and reading each other's glances. The air was full of uncertainty and hurt. It blew in our hearts.

"I can't." the European muttered.

"We-You have to." I almost slipped up. I don't think I could bear this parting. It wasn't even an official separation.

Silence, the whole room was so silent you could hear a pin drop and then his soft voice pierced the room.

"Why?" he said in deep thinking. It was as if he wasn't talking to me.

"We have gone over this already."

"Am I not good enough for you?"

I looked up at him, unguarded. He's voice was colored with agony that my heart broke in pieces. I haven't notice him staring at me. His deep green eyes stared in question and in misery. I was out of words. Must I tell my reason? I must but I could not do it. Why? I know what to tell him but I couldn't make my lips move the way I want them to.

The stillness grew. The tension that accompanied us increased. All that was heard was the birds chirping and our own inhalation. I wanted to tell him but what am I to say? I would hurt him deeply I don't desire that, I will never covet such devilish desires. But can I really say never?

"I…" I started, "Arthur-san, you, you are too good for me." My words shifted to him. "I don't wish for you to get hurt because you are very dear to me Arthur-san." It was going well until I felt a thumb caress gentle below my eye, wiping a tear. My eyes closed hiding its dark color. Blushed gushed to my cheeks.

I almost jumped in surprise but the pain that kept piercing my heart made me shaky. His every touch made me weak, my insides created butterflies while my heart snuffles. It was hurting so much. The liquid that made my eyes wet kept flowing like an endless waterfall, his thumb catches every drop. He knew mw too well. I lied when I said he will never know me more but he already does.

My body was held into a warm embrace. I felt his body heat trying to stop the ugly tears that kept streaming down but feeling his love only increased them. The endless rain that came from my eyes resembles my love for him. They were overflowing; overflowing because this may be the last I could make him feel them. I shouldn't be the one crying. I shouldn't be the one getting hurt. I shouldn't be the one getting affected. I should be the one who was holding him and stopping his tears.

"It hurts." He said bluntly as his arms held me tighter. I thought he was referring about me but as I felt his head rested on my shoulder I immediately knew it was both of us he was commenting on.

He pulled away slightly, wanting my brown eyes to gaze with his green ones. "I can't live without you." His soft lips caught mine. The kiss was chaste, it felt like our first kiss but ironically this was our last. I wanted more but he pulled away not knowing.

"I am sorry" my eyes adjusted toward his wrinkled suit, "I just don't want you to commit a mistake." A mistake that is me. "You are so dear to me, you have awoken my heart to love and that will never change." I clenched his already creased suit "I want to be with you until God reclaims what is His." But I cannot Arthur-san, I cannot. It felt like I was toying with his feelings but we both needed this, just one last time.

My fingers started to undo his buttons trying to escape his answer. My cheeks turned crimson. My eyes locked themselves on his buttons. His nose suddenly touched my ear. I could feel him inhaling my scent; I replicated him and got intoxicated.

_This will be the last. _

With that mentally written in my mind I let my desires take over me.

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I opened the door one last time checking up at Arthur. His blanked always avoided his upper body showing off his flawless pale skin. I sighed. I tucked him in with the blanket. My gloved fingers fixed the stray hair on his peaceful face. I observed him one last time as the moonlight gave a better view. His rarely thick eyebrow looked cute on him as always. I will take a mental picture of him, at least I saw him peaceful one last time. The next I may him might be during war.

"Good bye Arthur-san." Spoke dully. I walked toward the sliding door. Before closing I glanced once at the sleeping man and closed it. I had made my decision. I decide on my own, nothing could stop me now. It was too late. I could never return.

As I reached the front door my attention was divided by a mirror. A mirror I hung myself years ago. It never seemed alluring before. I adored how the black silk looked upon me. It glisten gloriously in darkness. I adjusted my black hat that complimented the dark uniform, enjoying what I saw my gloved hand fixed my hair. Narcissism. It was narcissism that made me enjoy staring at the mirror.

The raven haired man wearing a dark uniform smirked and with that I knew he wanted power, unconditional power

End


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